Good afternoon world! 

It's been many moons since my last post, and even though Mew is no longer with us T^T I want to keep this blog in memory of her. 

I'll be posting monthly to keep track of my weight goals. 
I may post randomly throughout the month as well, mostly blurbs and maybe recipes. 

Previous books I read

Learning how labels and pages work, I've deleted my static page "Books" and am creating a new "Books" tab with the old content and new content to be added as individual posts! I think it'll make it easier to read up and find different book posts as opposed to having to scan through a static page. Without furthur ado, my original post below:

My memory being as it is, I decided to keep a list of all the books I read. As with what I've included on my bucket list, the goal of reading 12 books a year, it was more of a "I don't want to ask too much of myself, so if I read 1 book a month, that'll be a good start". It's weird to have to give myself a goal for reading, I used to eat books. Not in the literal term obviously, but I used to live, eat and breathe books. When did that passion, of wanting to read almost disappear and with it, my memory seems to have faltered. 
You know, you can almost expect an old person to start losing bits of their memory and it's almost normal with age, that you can't remember what you did 5mins ago.. but I'm not even 32 and my mind, my memory, is no longer what it was. Does that have anything to do with not reading as much anymore? I don't know. But I used to enjoy reading, and this is me, wanting to get back that joy. 
I'm good at straying off topic and rambling on, as you can tell from the above. 

Anywho, I want this to be a place where I can write down the books I read from now on. To kind of keep track of how many, but also of what I've been reading. 
I'm not sure if I'll write summaries of the books yet. Maybe for some I will and others I won't. I'll see how it goes along the way. 

So, without further ado, here is the list (so far):

1. Who Is Eddie Leonard? by Harry Mazer 
- about a boy who was raised by his grandmother and throughout his childhood was told many tales of how he came about. Sometimes he was told he was found in the trash, sometimes he was taken home off the streets. Never getting a straight answer to his questions, he was also abused emotionally and physically. In his teens, he finds a poster of a missing child that looks strikingly familiar...it's his own face. This book is about his life, his search for who he really is and the process of finding his family and his true self. 

2. Yakuza Moon ~ The True Story of a Gangster's Daughter (Manga Edition) based on the book by Shoko Tendo
- this is basically the memoirs of Shoko Tendo. How it was like to be raised in a Yakuza household, her experiences through life, more bad than good. Her fight with drug addiction, abusive boyfriends, life in general and how she's able to gain strength and get back up after it all.

3. The Brightest Light by Colleen O'Shaughnessy McKenna
- about a 16yr old girl who's grown up with her grandma and dad, her mom having passed away in a car accident when she was two. This is the story of her summer and all the things that happened that changed her life as she knew it. 

4. The Butterfly House by Marcia Preston
- this is the first book in a while that has not only been able to grasp my attention, but also keep it, drawing me back for more whenever, for one reason or another, I had to put it down. 
It tells the story of Roberta, better known as Bobbie, throughout much of her life. Spanning from childhood to adulthood, back and forth, in a nice flowing pattern. We remember with her, flashbacks of her very young childhood, learn about her life with her alkiholic mother, about the bond formed with her best friend Cincy and Lenora (Cincy's mother), butterflies, and her estranged father. The whole of it was captivating and while some parts I was able to guess before it was revealed, it still kept me hooked. The last part of the book, with Cincy, required a time out on my part.. it brought back memories of three years past with my dad.. memories I still have trouble with. So, it was definitely a harder part for me to get through, bringing tears to my eyes. 

6yrs ago today..

Today, January 10th 2018 marks 6yrs that I decided to take my weight in my hands, and start eating healthy!
I've fallen off the bandwagon SO many times, I've lost count! However, I found it funny, in a non-haha way (or maybe in a haha way..), that of all days where I would peruse through my old blog posts, today would be the anniversary of when I decided to start eating healthy. I always thought my healthy eating started in May, when I started logging with myfitnesspal.com, what a surprise!

To celebrate, I prelogged part of my meals (something I've been struggling with over the last few months), I also got my butt in gear and cleaned the slow cooker, so that I could make yummy Thai Curry (a tad on the bland side, now that I taste it.. as the bf puts it "it's white ppl Thai curry", we had to tweak it a little).

The recipe I followed (kinda sorta), is found here: http://www.foodnetwork.ca/everyday-cooking/blog/slow-cooker-thai-red-curry-soup/

I tweaked the recipe and used what I had on hand, so it could be the cause of it not having enough of a pronounced taste! If anyone tries the original recipe as well as this one, let me know what you think in the comments!


Thai Yellow Curry Chicken Soup

1 can coconut milk
1 cup chicken broth
3 tbsp yellow Thai curry paste
2 tbsp palm sugar
1 tbsp soy sauce
2 small onions
3 garlic cloves, minced
2-inch piece of ginger, minced
1 small package of whole mushrooms
2 carrots, sliced
2 boneless, skinless chicken boobs
2 lemongrass stems
2 Thai peppers - whole

4 red potatoes, diced and boiled*

Mix coconut milk, chicken broth, curry paste, sugar, and soy sauce directly in the slow cooker. Then add all other ingredients. The original recipe calls for 2hrs on high, or 4hrs on low. However, I did some research yesterday in regards to cooking chicken in a slow cooker. I wasn't sure if it would be better to slightly cook the chicken first, as is the case with beef.

I found a reddit post on the subject.
This is what a user (DoubleDroz), mentioned on the subject: Here's what America's Test Kitchen has to say: Cooking times for Chicken - We found that the only way to cook chicken in a slow cooker is on the low setting, which takes longer to get to the maximum heat level and allows the chicken time to gradually cook through without overcooking. Different cuts also require different cooking times to keep from overcooking.

• Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts: 2 to 3 hours on Low
• Bone-in Chicken Breasts: 3 to 4 hours on Low
• Chicken Thighs: 4 to 5 hours on Low4
• Drumsticks and Wings: 3 to 4 hours on Low
• Ground Chicken: 2 to 3 hours on Low

The reddit post can be found here:
https://amp.reddit.com/r/slowcooking/comments/3ku8jo/how_long_should_i_cook_my_chicken_thighs_in_my/

I was reading different websites as well, and found out that chicken used in a slow cooker should never be frozen, as it doesn't get hot fast enough, so while thawing can get some lovely bacteria as well. I can do without bacteria and getting sick! Thankfully my chicken was fresh, but I will have to make note of it somewhere visible so as to avoid getting sick.



Some reasons why I think the Thai curry may have turned out kind of bland:

• I used lite soy sauce, less salt... sacrilège! I know! I can't wait for it to finish, so I can get something better! It's what the bf bought years ago, if there's one thing I miss from my days gone past, it was the different types of soy sauce I kept!
• for the garlic, two were minced, the third one was smashed and plopped in, bf didn't want too much garlic
• not sure if the ginger was actually minced or just thrown in, bf took over towards the end
• mushrooms were thrown in, uncut - could be why some flavour was missing, mushrooms add a lot of water, I didn't season accordingly

* (potatoes were added after 4hrs cooking on low, also after shredding the chicken, I boiled them before putting them in as the last time we tried making stew in the slow cooker and just popped potatoes in as the recipe suggested, they remained raw! Much faster to boil them, then add them in afterwards!

More tweaking was done after 4hrs. I added 3 more tbsp of curry paste, basically used the whole jar! (It was a tiny jar, but still! All gone!)
We added sea salt, ground peppercorn, another lemongrass stalk and the boiled potatoes. Set the timer for another 4hrs, 1 of which has already passed. It's more flavourful, the chicken is still quite tender, the tastes are melding together nicely, potatoes were a great addition...aaand the carrots are still raw >.> albeit a tab more cooked, but not much. I think after another hour it ought to be ok.

Anyone have a trick for potatoes and carrots in the slow cooker? The carrots were still raw after 4hrs on low, I've added more cooking time. It's still doing its thing, so I'll modify overall cooking time when it's all said and done.

Eight hours later, the carrots are still not fully cooked, I gave up on them lol but at least they're mostly cooked, with a little crunch! Unfortunately, the chicken became a wee bit dry after 8hrs, up to 6hrs it was still very juicy. Lesson learned! I think I'll be boiling the carrots before adding them to the crock pot!

hello, is it me you're looking for?

So much time has past, so much has happened. I did lose weight and then I gained it all back, I'm regretfully back to my starting weight of 202lbs.

On a good note, it wasn't taken back from eating my worries away.. it's that "gain weight in a new relationship" thing. Not saying it's a good thing, only that at least it wasn't because I was feeling depressed. 
When your eating habits change and you don't really pay attention, your body derails. My body derailed and left the track. But I'm pushing myself back onto it. 
It's been hard these past few months (since November/December 2013), always falling ill, not having any appetite. The bf gets me to eat, if even just a little when I'm sick but when I'm no longer sick, it's like my appetite still doesn't return. 
I won't feel hungry, but then all of a sudden I get dizzy and need to eat, or I'll crave something but then eat just a little and feel nauseous, so I stop. Other days I'm hungry all the time..I'll eat and still feel hungry, my tummy growling for more.

One of my first thoughts to stream through my mind was that I was preggers, but P. tests come back negative, so unless they're all faulty, the problem doesn't lie there. 

Still, Aunt flo seems to have taken a break, she was never a regular visitor, but she'd still come for visits. 

Something seemed "off" upon her last visit..she stayed for a lot longer than usual and now hasn't been seen for 2mths. I probably should've done something sooner, but didn't really think much of it at the time, apart from annoyance as she was overstaying her welcome.


I know stress sometimes leads to her not showing up, so at first I thought she cancelled her arrival due to the news of my T.P. (dad's sister) being on the losing side of her battle with brain cancer. The last news any of us had received about T.P. was that the cancer was gone and all was well, so it was quite a shock to wake up to a msg (April 15th) that not only was the cancer back, but that she had 2 weeks to 2 months left to live. 
I received the news of T.P. the week before Aunt flo was to arrive.. and then she did not. The next few weeks were quite stressful, the passing of T.P. (May 7th) left me numb, still kind of numb at that. Could that be it? 

I can't remember if she (Aunt flo) went on hiatus when my dad passed away in '09... although I didn't go numb then, only experienced uncontrollable sadness (read as "balling eyes out"), which I still "suffer" from when I think of his last days..*exhales - composes self*




When I look back, I realize I wasn't quite eating enough (which probably explains the dizzy/nauseous feelings). I was no longer logging in what I ate, and when I started logging again, I saw I wasn't eating enough calories per day. Unfortunately, this has gone on for far too long and I guess that's why my body's on hiatus right now.. 
I've started keeping record of what I eat, pushing myself along, forcing myself to eat at least the recommended calories, trying for more, doing a bit of exercise as well (when I eat enough). It's going.. hoping I haven't damaged my body too much. 


I've done "self research" (aka interwebs searching) with the symptoms I've had, and if I'd have to put my finger on anything, I'd say my body's gone into starvation mode from the lack of nutrients/calories over x-amount of months. No bueno. =( 

Off to the clinic I go tomorrow, hopefully getting a new family doctor (my previous one was on sick leave and instead of returned, just retired instead). I'll need to run blood tests (to see why Aunt flo has gone) and probably a whole lot of other tests as well, considering my last physical was in 2008.. yea, I'm a tad overdue. 

Back again! It's official!! =D

Took my weigh-in this morning, 2 mths later Dx But better late, than never!

I realise that saying "oh I'll wait and do this then.." never gets done.
I don't want to say that "I'll try" because "trying" feels like it'll be too easy to say "well, I tried.. but it didn't happen" or even "I'll try, but I'll try later", so I'd rather say "from now on, I'm going to live by".. it feels like it might bring on too much pressure, but I'd rather do that, than to allow myself to lax too much.

So, this is what I want to live by: don't put off 'till tomorrow, what you can do today.

That's what got me to do my weigh-in this morning, otherwise I'd have just let it dwindle longer. 

Today is a new day, and there are many things I can do and will do!

I've been allowing myself to think negatively far too long, and I'm not a negative person initially, but there's something I saw on fb yesterday, and it rang really really true. I'm going to post the picture below. 
Initially, this is what I interpret it as saying "the people who you hang around with the most, are the ones that will influence you, your personality the most" and it's really really true. As my peamate, my bestie, he's a very negative thinking person, he's also been described as a little rage volcano. I love him to bits, he's got a lot of great qualities and I'm always hanging out with him (although less now, as he started working again), but he does tend to be very negative/aggressive and while for the longest time I was trying to think positive, after a while, I started thinking negatively too. I'm not blaming him for it. Yes, it's probably because we spend SO much time together, but as the post says "5 people"... and I only spend time with him.. always, constantly, it's my own fault for not having more friends to hang out with. And it's not only on him, because most of my other friends are negative thinking ppl. Maybe not so much so, but they're the type of people to always talk negatively of others, which makes me not really want to hang out with them. I don't like all this negativity *super frustrated*.. why do all my non-negative, more chipper friends have to live outside of the city?

I need more friends. Ok, no feeling sorry for myself. Think positive, look on the bright side of things, set some short term goals and do what I can do. *nods*

Okies, I'm done my rant, rage and ramble =D

Eons it has been..

It's been eons since my last post! I've been lagging, letting loose, not following healthy eating for the last while.. I've put on weight too, I know it. Skipped my December weigh-in, will do my January one though. I know I've gained more weight since my November weigh-in, the actual number though, we'll find out soon enough (don't know the exact weight, but I can feel and see chunkier me Dx).

I've been so "blah" lately and just...low. Not full on depressed, but not far off either. Had some pretty low lows, nothing I'm proud of, but they're there and I'm trying my best to cope with them. 
But enough is enough! 

I've re-made my budget and I'm re-working my eating & workout plan. I'm giving myself until the 10th (weigh-in day) to get my act together and things sorted out and then I'll be heading back to healthier me!

I'm determined and I'm not allowing for doubt or negativity to dictate where my life will end up. That's what I've decided *nods*

wowzers! o.o

On my way home from hanging out with my peamate on Tuesday, I decided to pop into Mourelatos on the way home. I finally found some coconut oil to my amazement (couldn't for the life of me find it anywhere else). I don't need it anymore, but I picked some up as I'm curious about baking with it. =D

I had a super awersome time at my friend's this past weekend and I'm stoked for the upcoming weekend... it's comic con time again!! The cupcakes were a hit! Ariane nommed them up as did my friend. 
I'm back to feeling super drained again though. Not too pleased about that. I'm sure the lack of healthy food helped in that, as did my lack of sleep. 

I didn't get to do my weigh-in on the 10th, which kind of bummed me out. But I decided I would skip it this time around and just log all next month. 

As the days get cooler, I've decided to up my exercise time. I'll take advantage of the outdoors as much as possible, but will start getting into the groove of exercising indoors (at home).