So much time has past, so much has happened. I did lose weight and then I gained it all back, I'm regretfully back to my starting weight of 202lbs.
On a good note, it wasn't taken back from eating my worries away.. it's that "gain weight in a new relationship" thing. Not saying it's a good thing, only that at least it wasn't because I was feeling depressed.
When your eating habits change and you don't really pay attention, your body derails. My body derailed and left the track. But I'm pushing myself back onto it.
It's been hard these past few months (since November/December 2013), always falling ill, not having any appetite. The bf gets me to eat, if even just a little when I'm sick but when I'm no longer sick, it's like my appetite still doesn't return.
I won't feel hungry, but then all of a sudden I get dizzy and need to eat, or I'll crave something but then eat just a little and feel nauseous, so I stop. Other days I'm hungry all the time..I'll eat and still feel hungry, my tummy growling for more.
One of my first thoughts to stream through my mind was that I was preggers, but P. tests come back negative, so unless they're all faulty, the problem doesn't lie there.
Still, Aunt flo seems to have taken a break, she was never a regular visitor, but she'd still come for visits.
Something seemed "off" upon her last visit..she stayed for a lot longer than usual and now hasn't been seen for 2mths. I probably should've done something sooner, but didn't really think much of it at the time, apart from annoyance as she was overstaying her welcome.
I know stress sometimes leads to her not showing up, so at first I thought she cancelled her arrival due to the news of my T.P. (dad's sister) being on the losing side of her battle with brain cancer. The last news any of us had received about T.P. was that the cancer was gone and all was well, so it was quite a shock to wake up to a msg (April 15th) that not only was the cancer back, but that she had 2 weeks to 2 months left to live.
I received the news of T.P. the week before Aunt flo was to arrive.. and then she did not. The next few weeks were quite stressful, the passing of T.P. (May 7th) left me numb, still kind of numb at that. Could that be it?
I can't remember if she (Aunt flo) went on hiatus when my dad passed away in '09... although I didn't go numb then, only experienced uncontrollable sadness (read as "balling eyes out"), which I still "suffer" from when I think of his last days..*exhales - composes self*
When I look back, I realize I wasn't quite eating enough (which probably explains the dizzy/nauseous feelings). I was no longer logging in what I ate, and when I started logging again, I saw I wasn't eating enough calories per day. Unfortunately, this has gone on for far too long and I guess that's why my body's on hiatus right now..
I've started keeping record of what I eat, pushing myself along, forcing myself to eat at least the recommended calories, trying for more, doing a bit of exercise as well (when I eat enough). It's going.. hoping I haven't damaged my body too much.
I've done "self research" (aka interwebs searching) with the symptoms I've had, and if I'd have to put my finger on anything, I'd say my body's gone into starvation mode from the lack of nutrients/calories over x-amount of months. No bueno. =(
Off to the clinic I go tomorrow, hopefully getting a new family doctor (my previous one was on sick leave and instead of returned, just retired instead). I'll need to run blood tests (to see why Aunt flo has gone) and probably a whole lot of other tests as well, considering my last physical was in 2008.. yea, I'm a tad overdue.
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